This he haddone because it was too difficult to live believing one's self believing one's self, one had to decide every question not infavour of one's own animal life, which is always seeking for easygratifications, but almost in every case against it. Goodbye, Dmitri Ivanovitch," she said, with her pleasant,tender voice, keeping back the tears that filled her eyesandran away into the hall, where she could cry in peace.Īnd all this terrible change had come about because he had ceasedto believe himself and had taken to believing others. Thenmoney was not needed, and he did not require even onethird ofwhat his mother allowed him but now this allowance of 1,500roubles a month did not suffice, and he had already had someunpleasant talks about it with his mother. Then women seemed mysterious andcharmingcharming by the very mystery that enveloped them nowthe purpose of women, all women except those of his own familyand the wives of his friends, was a very definite one: women werethe best means towards an already experienced enjoyment. What he now considerednecessary and important were human institutions and intercoursewith his comrades. ThenGod's world seemed a mystery which he tried enthusiastically andjoyfully to solve now everything in life seemed clear andsimple, defined by the conditions of the life he was leading.Then he had felt the importance of, and had need of intercoursewith, nature, and with those who had lived and thought and feltbefore himphilosophers and poets. He then had been an honest, unselfishlad, ready to sacrifice himself for any good cause now he wasdepraved and selfish, and thought only of his own enjoyment. On the way hecame to spend a few days with his aunts, being now a verydifferent young man from the one who had spent the summer withthem three years before. When he saw her again he had just been promoted to therank of officer and was going to join his regiment. "Thank you for everything."Īfter that Nekhludoff did not see Katusha for more than threeyears.
Goodbye, Katusha," he said, looking across Sophia Ivanovna'scap as he was getting into the trap. He not only did not feel any desire topossess her, but the very thought of it filled him with horror.The fears of the more poetical Sophia Ivanovna, that Dmitri, withhis thoroughgoing, resolute character, having fallen in love witha girl, might make up his mind to marry her, without consideringeither her birth or her station, had more ground. His aunt, Mary Ivanovna, was afraid Dmitriwould form an intimacy with Katusha but her fears weregroundless, for Nekhludoff, himself hardly conscious of it, lovedKatusha, loved her as the pure love, and therein lay hissafetyhis and hers. They noticed it, andbecame frightened, and even wrote to Princess Elena Ivanovna,Nekhludoff's mother. Theserelations continued between Nekhludoff and Katusha during thewhole time of his first visit to his aunts'. Their lips puckered, and they felt a kindof dread of something that made them part quickly. Their eyes at once began tosay something very different and far more important than whattheir mouths uttered. These talks in Matrona Pavlovna's presence were the pleasantest.When they were alone it was worse. Petersburg, andreached its highest point when he entered the army.
Nekhludoff, with his passionate nature, gave himself thoroughlyto the new way of life so approved of by all those around, and heentirely stifled the inner voice which demanded somethingdifferent. The poisoning was committed by Maslova alone therefore he beggedthe jury to acquit Kartinkin and Botchkova of stealing the money or if they could not acquit them of the theft, at least to admitthat it was done without any participation in the poisoning. The merchant'smoney was stolen by Maslova and given away, or even lost, as shewas not in a normal state." "The 2,500 roubles," the advocate said, "couldhave been easily earned by two honest people getting from threeto five roubles per day in tips from the lodgers. He deniedthe truth of Maslova's statements that Botchkova and Kartinkinwere with her when she took the money, laying great stress on thepoint that her evidence could not be accepted, she being chargedwith poisoning.
Heacquitted them both and put all the blame on Maslova. After the prosecutor had spoken, a middleaged man inswallowtail coat and lowcut waistcoat showing a largehalfcircle of starched white shirt, rose from the advocates'bench and made a speech in defence of Kartinkin and Botchkova this was an advocate engaged by them for 300 roubles.
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